Short, Fast and Furry

As today is, apparently, Groundhog’s Day, I thought I’d write a little something to commemorate the holiday:

Once upon a time there was a groundhog. He woke up, bright and early, scurried his way outside of his tree trunk, poked his head around and was startled to see his own shadow. He turned to run back inside, waving his furry little ass in the air, but was immediately beaten to death with a shovel by the entire Northeast because fuck you, groundhog. Don’t you dare threaten six more weeks of winter. Seriously, fuck all this snow.

Thank you. Thankfully the actual Punxatawny Phil didn’t see his shadow and was thus spared a brutal end.

Speaking of writing that’s short, fast, and deadly, though, Short, Fast and Deadly has released their 2010 anthology, entitled Deadlier Than Thou. You can find it here in both dead tree and (free) magic digital formats. Edited by Joseph Quintela, the anthology features short, short fiction by JDP contributors Eirik Gumeny, Stephen Schwegler, Jack Frey, and Kenyon Ledford, as well as, like, a hundred other fine authors. OK, maybe fifty. It was early and we didn’t actually count.

And speaking of Ken Ledford, don’t forget that the February issue of Jersey Devil Press is now online. It came out last week, but that was technically January, so it’s only fair that we remind you again, now, in February. Which it is. What with that groundhog and everything.

Something in the Night

I’m gonna go ahead and declare this National Mike Sweeney Week. He’s pulling double duty, sitting in at Our Band Could Be Your Lit and breaking in our Brilliant Disguise feature.

I look down the avenue to where the Palace used to stand, the one beyond which hemi-powered drones once famously screamed. I had my first date there. We played skee ball. Her name was even Wendy.

Now, Mike will be the first to tell you “Something in the Night” wasn’t 100% inspired by a single Springsteen lyric. But it’s rife with quotes and allusions to Jersey’s favorite son so we’re gonna take it. And, given this story about the Boss dropping in unannounced during a recent Asbury Show, it may very well hold some sway over the man himself. I know I wouldn’t doubt it. Sweeney’s just that good.

P.S. You should really send Ryan Werner a suggestion for OBCBYL while you’re in this musical state of mind. He’d love to hear from you.

Snowpocalypse Redux

Outside, snowflakes the size of footballs fall. They pile up quickly. At least four feet has fallen already and the dark, cloudy, billowing skies show no signs of respite. Eddie, the cart boy, tells us he spotted some polar bears in the parking lot. They were making love to SUVs. The radio reports that an emergency meeting of the House of Representatives to discuss possible evacuation procedures had quickly devolved into a massive orgy/battle royale. The vote is split evenly along party lines. There is no help coming.

Well, it snowed again. And if you live on the East Coast — or probably anywhere, I’m guessing — you know what that means. Gross exaggeration on the part of the media and even grosser overreaction by everyone else. It’s just snow, people. It happens every year.

Still, a snow day is a snow day, and no one is complaining about that. So in the spirit of sleeping in and not being productive at all, let’s all take another look at Danger_Slater’s “Snowpocalypse.” It’s guaranteed to make you even less inclined to go outside today.