They can rebuild him!

8/31/14 UPDATE — Surgery was a success and Eirik will update more when he’s feeling up to it. Break out the Ewok victory song!

This is it people. Our friend, founder, and fearless leader Eirik Gumeny is about to head into surgery for his double-lung transplant. Help him across the finish line with whatever you’ve got — good thoughts, prayers, positive energy, the healing power of the Force, whatever! Send it towards Stanford now! You in the back with that Infinity Stone — get on this shit!

(Warm thoughts, well wishes, and inappropriate jokes also welcome on twitter and Facebook.)

Finally, while it’s awesome beyond words that he’s getting lungs, cash still wouldn’t hurt. Sadly, none of this is cheap. Donations always welcome here.

Tick-tock, Doc.

Guys. GUYS. Our sixtieth issue. If you were to read one issue per second, starting now, it would be a full minute before you finished reading all of them.

I’ll pause to let that sink in.

Issue 60 has little things: a splinter, subatomic particles, spaces between teeth. It also has biggish things: a fish that’s not a fish, a stuffy guy in fancy dress, the consequences of time-travel, a pachyderm.

All these things, and more. Absorb it online or cop the PDF.

May your Halloween be haunted and rock-free.

It’s time to put on your best Scotchtoberfest kilt and tune up those bagpipes; Issue 59 is here!

Gio Clairval kicks things off with a tale of a dental assistant who sends some of her patients home with a little something extra. Then Don Katnik cools things down with a wintry supernatural tale. Mark J. Mitchell reflects on the grim state of the job market in a melancholy yet whimsical sonnet, and Gary Moshimer sets spines a-tingling with a story of a babysitter with questionable taste in dairy products and a baby who is anything but helpless. Next up is Yvonne Yu, who takes a surprisingly candid look at sexy mermaid fantasies. Finally, Gregory J. Wolos ends on an upbeat note with a story about a crematorium explosion survivor and his furry neighbor. And over everything the lovely, spooky cover art from Yuri Shwedoff sets an autumnal mood.

Read it by a crackling bonfire, if you can. And don’t forget the s’mores. Check it out online or read the PDF.