We’re tremendously excited to announce our Pushcart nominees for this year, which are currently on their way to the prize committee in the capable claws of our Mail Delivery Tauntaun.

Here they are, in alphabetical order:

Nicola Belte, “Dippin’ and Dustin’,” issue 41 (April 2013)

Amanda Chiado, “The Birth of Houdini,” issue 45 (August 2013)

Kelsie Hahn, “The Hermitage,” issue 46 (September 2013)

Christopher Lettera, “Together, We Can Save a Life,” issue 38 (January 2013)

Gary Moshimer, “Saving Jesus,” issue 48 (November 2013)

y.t. sumner, “Bazaar,” issue 42 (May 2013)

Congratulations to everyone who was nominated, and a round of hearty applause for all the writers whose stories (and poems) have appeared in our pages; we’re honored you chose to share your work with us.

Of course, if we’d gone this route, we might have found ourselves stuffing soggy bread into defrosted bald eagles every November.

Thanksgiving is arguably more American than Independence Day. What were we fighting for, if not our right to blast a wild turkey with a shotgun (or, you know, buy a frozen one at Kroger), deep-fry that sonofabitch, then consume it with a variety of butter-logged, marshmallow-oozing side dishes before passing out in the living room with football playing quietly on the TV?

In case you are the first one to wake up from your tryptophan coma, or if you’re just holed up in the guest bathroom, taking a break from the family togetherness in the only place where you can get some peace and qui—FOR ODIN’S SAKE, STOP JIGGLING THE HANDLE; THERE’S CLEARLY SOMEONE IN HERE.

As we were saying, we have some recommended Turkey Day reading for you. First up is Eirik Gumeny’s “Almost Every November,” in which the Thanksgiving tables are turned when a few genetically modified birds take matters into their own artificially-prehensile feathers. Then there’s Stephen Schwegler’s “Chinese Take-Out,” in which a group of humans holed up in a shopping center after a massive wild turkey uprising find a way to celebrate the holidays. And you can’t go wrong with any of our Pushcart Prize Nominees for this year.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Sure, you could finish that TPS report/chapter of your novel for NaNoWriMo/gallbladder surgery you’re performing right now . . . but dammit, you deserve a break.

To that end, we’ve organized this month’s selections by the amount of time it would take an average adult to read them, rounded to the nearest minute. And you know you’re above average, so you’ll read them even faster. (Admit it: you’re going to time yourself.)

Ian Sacks, “Amazing Human Post-It Note,” 2 min.

Sloan Thomas, “Only One Good Reason to Get a Haircut,” 3 min.

Alex Munkacsy, “The Grey Egg,” 3 min.

Lucas Dylan-Frances, “Katelyn,” 4 min.

Michael Schoch, “The Particular Human,” 8 min.

Gary Moshimer, “Saving Jesus,” 12 min.

You really shouldn’t try to rush, though, because (1) these stories are worth savoring, and (2) the sooner you’re done, the sooner you’ll have to get back to filling in those spreadsheets/interrogating that suspect/feeding your manticore.