Just a quick note to our readers and potential submitters – actually more to the latter, as anyone who reads us on a consistent basis has a pretty good idea of what we’re about. But there may be some people out there who are just passing by, don’t take the time to read our issues in depth, and think we’re only about people masturbating to ducks.

Our February Issue featured an off-beat (sorry) piece about a guy who got turned on by waterfowl while trying to remain faithful to his absent girlfriend. The whole issue featured some dark stuff, so we’re not just laying all of this on Jackson Burgess’ “Brace.” Actually, we’re putting none of it on Jackson, because all he did was write an odd, interesting piece of fiction that we’re (still) proud to have published.

Unfortunately, since the appearance of that story and issue, our slushpile has taken a turn towards the fucking nasty.

(Some of this might also be due to a very, very dark piece of satire by Robert Buswell that we published for International Human Rights Day in December. But if you misread that one, well there’s nothing we’re going to write in a blog post to help you.)

Let’s just say that there has been a discernible uptick in stories about masturbation – which frankly would be okay, but there’s a decidedly sinister element to them and other stories we’ve gotten over the past few weeks. Think YouPorn meets the Saw movies. That is not what we’re about, as our regulars know – or as any potential submitter who has read our guidelines would see. (Pay special attention to Eirik and Monica’s original comments on rape stories.)

JDP is about publishing cool, well-written fucked up shit that probably won’t find a home anywhere else, not fucked-up fucked-up shit that was rejected by the special torture issue of Penthouse: Variations. (Note the modifier “well written” in that last sentence.)

So send us some of that. Or send us a nice, sweet story that’s a bit odd, because – believe it or not – we publish those too. Really. In fact, just to drive that point home, here are some of our favorite (genuinely) heart-warming stories that don’t in any way involve self-induced ejaculation.

“Paper Heart” by Ally Malinenko
“Julia and Raul” by Ben Nardolilli
“For Kylie” by Matthew Burnside
“Rodeo Clown” by Annam Manthiram
“The Fortune Teller” by Carol Deminski
“The End of a Day” by Sean Daly
“Godzilla Reading Haiku” by Christopher DeWan

Okay, good talk. Have a nice weekend. New issue next Wednesday.

Unlike those wilted roses and the remnants of the Whitman’s Sampler that have calcified into gum-lacerating shrapnel, we’re here to tell you our Valentine’s Day issue is still good. In fact, let’s just call it the “February Issue,” while reminding everyone in the world to read it, possibly for the second or third time.

It’s all about love and love, of course, is timeless and eternal. Yep, the pain never ends.

Finally, we wanted to remind you that The Following’s on tonight! You know what that means? You should skip it and read some actual Edgar Allan fucking Poe.