Ten (kinda) Important Things to Know for 2013

Shouldn't Santa have sent the Bumblebeast as Rudolph's back up?

You’ve got a Twilight Zone marathon to watch so we’ll keep this as brief as possible. First: Chris Sims over at Comics Alliance covers this in wonderful detail, but we still want to remind the adults of the world not to laugh at small children who look goofy. One of them might be the Baby New Year who’ll run away forcing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (aided by Ben Franklin, a Caveman, and Frank Gorshin) to do battle with a giant, ancient vulture in order to save all of time and space. ‘Cause that’s what happens when people are shitty to little kids who look different. So don’t be shitty.

Second (and completely unrelated): we’re doing another novella contest. We’ll throw an announcement up on Duotrope toward the end of January, but we’re telling you first because you read this site and therefore are awesome. You can check out last year’s rules to get a general idea of what we’re looking for, but note that for 2013, we’re upping the word limit to a minimum of 15,000 and a max of 25,000. Also, no runner-up this year, just a literary fight to the death for first place and publication in our June Issue. Novella contest submissions open February 1st and close March 31st. (Sending us a novella before that will piss us off and cause you to lose.) Go read last year’s winners and write something equally awesome (but obviously different.)

Third: we’ve also got special poetry and Lovercraft issues on tap for 2013. Get writing.

Fourth: our founding editor needs new lungs. Seriously. So help out if you can.

Can't Keep a Good Ninja Down

Fifth: back to novellas. Specifically, Jimmy Grist’s amazing “Keeley Kunoichi.” It fills up our December Issue, is all kinds of amazing, and is far more satisfying than getting drunk. So read it tonight. Your liver will thank us.

Sixth: you should also read Laura Garrison’s “The Long Happy New Year of Dora Wellington.” It’s the best New Year’s story we know of that doesn’t involve a giant, ancient vulture kidnapping a baby.

Seventh: stop by Jack’s Music Shoppe and pick up a free copy of Ryan Werner’s Shake Away These Constant Days while their (very, very limited) supply lasts. Not near Red Bank, NJ? Got two bucks? Then Kindle, baby, Kindle.

Eighth: make a resolution…to follow JDP on Twitter. It’s free, easy, and makes us disproportionately happy. During 2012 over 300 new people followed us and almost forty of them stuck around after we rejected their story!

Ninth: video of Steve Austin fighting Bigfoot.

Tenth: that’s it. Be safe. Thanks for reading JDP. Have a great 2013!

Merry Christmas from JDP

You say, "Bumble." We say, "Wampa."

Christmas Eve! Everyone has their traditions…like watching It’s a Wonderful Life, or maybe Love, Actually, or possibly hitting themselves in the head with a frying pan. (All three seem equally enjoyable.) Here at JDP we like to gather everyone together before the eggnog starts flowing and read that other Christmas classic, “Mall Satan,” by Danger_Slater. Then, just before putting the star on the tree, we move on to Sam Snoek-Brown’s wonderfully morbid “The Resurrection of Old Saint Nick.” They’re both pretty much the embodiment of Yuletide cheer.

Remembering Brian Daley

Saturday would’ve been the sixty-fifth birthday of Brian Daley. Brian was a lot of things — a Vietnam vet, a prolific writer, co-creator of the Robotech series, and native New Jerseyan (born in Englewood.) But he’s probably best known for his role in adapting Star Wars into other media. Most notably, he scripted the amazing NPR dramatizations of the original trilogy, including fleshing out the first film to a four-hour audio play that incorporated extensive story notes and other material that George Lucas had to cut from the screen version.

His second contribution was to write a best-selling trilogy of novels about Han Solo’s adventures before meeting up with the Rebellion. Published in 1979, Han Solo at Star’s End and its sequels, Han Solo’s Revenge and Han Solo and the Lost Legacy, were pure space pulp: Han and Chewie racing around the galaxy in the Millennium Falcon, dodging the law, playing Sabacc and Dejaric, and blasting their way in and out of trouble. To my nine-year-old self, they were possibly the best books ever written.

Brian died way too young in 1996, just after production wrapped on the audio adaption of Return of the Jedi.