"TextureX" by Coyle Parker

Asking your stepfather to behead a prophet because you’re bored? Check.

Self-mutilation in pursuit of your art? We’ve got that.

Meeting your future wife by discovering her father’s corpse? Uh-huh.

A blind woman doing something seriously unpleasant with a hot melon scoop? Unfortunately.

Honestly, when the nicest story concerns two guys beating the crap out of each other with oboes, you know you’re in for a dark ride.

And that’s before we even get to Aaron Frigard’s contribution, which probably warrants its own black box warning.

So brace yourself, this one isn’t for the faint of heart. But we think you can handle it. After all, you’re a dedicated JDP reader and that means your middle name is practically “highly inappropriate.”

(Or Robert. Maybe Beatrice. Very possibly Tiberius )

Anyway, enjoy Issue 32 of Jersey Devil Press.

Text a friend before and after reading just so they know you’re alright.

Asbury Park, Fourth of July (well, technically the Third)

Is it the guy across the street setting off the fireworks he brought back the last time he visited his cousins in North Carolina? And…and did that last Roman Candle set his hedge partially on fire?

And…and…down the block? Is that guy listening to that old Maxell tape of the ’88 KROQ Springsteen show from Stockholm? While he dumps Kingsford briquets into the Weber Smoky Joe?

Hmmm…

And, next door? Is that your other neighbor so drunk he’s delivering Bill Pullman’s Independence Day speech word-for-word from his back deck? And did he just nail the “right to exist” part?

Wait a second!?

There’s humidity so thick you can actually taste it…and…and…there! The Aurora’s rising behind us!

Do you know what that means people??!

Could it possibly be?!?!

We're probably too small for Bruce to sue.

It’s Fourth of July in Jersey!!!!

So crack open the latest issue of the ass-shaking, love-making, Spice-freighting, Slave-Leia-ing, light-sabering, LEGENDARY J-D-P MAGAZINE!

J-D-P MAGAZINE!

July Issue Online Here!

PDF Here!

It’s summertime in Jersey and we’re all our own worst enemy.

We’ve got an entire issue chock full of stories about people betrayed by self, undermined by their own best efforts, and ultimately destined to fail because of their inherent, incurable flaws.

(Because nothing says, “Summer Fun!” like dangerous psychological projections of self.)

Grab the sunscreen and your anti-psychotics. That giant red ball in the sky wants you dead, unless, of course, it would prefer to drive you mad first.

Waited half an hour after eating? Then dive on into Issue 31 of Jersey Devil Press.

Read it online here. PDF here