The Right Bait

Lawrence Aron

Buggy Wheeler reared back with the rod, setting the hook.

“Gotcha!”

The fish ran, peeling yards of line from his reel. Buggy waited patiently for the drag to do its work, then began to crank it in, foot by foot.

Something jumped out on the water. He strained to catch a glimpse of what he had, but the glow from his Coleman lantern didn’t reach that far. The half-moon in the night sky provided only reflections on the still water.

The lantern sat on the shore next to his tackle box and folding canvas chair, and from its small circle of light Buggy could just make out where the line met the water, zigzagging back and forth as his quarry fought to throw the hook. He could feel the heaviness of the fish and knew that this was something special.

“Big fish, big fish!” he shouted, though no one heard him. He was alone on the lake just after one o’clock in the morning. He went fishing every night after his swing shift at the machine plant, from the season opener to the end of the year.

His fishing gear was his constant companion, strapped to his battered Schwinn. His coworkers made fun of him for it, usually behind his back where they thought he couldn’t hear. But Buggy had very good ears, probably to make up for what he didn’t have between them. His father had told him that long ago; less than a year later the old man went out for a drive and never came home.

The fish took a sudden turn and dove. Another stream of line whipped off the spool of his reel.

“Can’t run, big fish,” he muttered. He pulled the rod back, keeping the tip low, when he noticed a change in the tension of the line.

Buggy held the rod still. He was still attached to something, but that something wasn’t moving. A terrible realization filled him.

“No . . . ”

He cranked in more line and gave the rod a tentative tug. The other end didn’t give, but it didn’t pull back, either.

NO!

With a practiced flick of his finger he released the bail of his reel to give the line slack. It spooled off in loose coils and fell limply against the surface tension of the water. He re-engaged the bail and reeled in, stopping when the line drew taught.

“Not a dumb fish,” Buggy said angrily. “You went and ran for bottom, got me caught in the weeds, didn’t you?”

He reached past the end of his rod and grabbed the line. It bit into his thick hand as he pulled, and he felt a muted snap as it broke free. Buggy cranked at his reel, stopping when the loose end broke the water’s surface. The hook and bait were gone.

“Weeds,” he said. “Robbed me again!”

He sighed and sat in the chair, leaning the rod against his lap. Holding the end of his line, he rummaged in his tackle box for another hook.

His real name was Billy. They called him Buggy at the plant because he didn’t understand a lot of things. He knew they thought he was stupid and a little crazy, and he was okay with that because he also knew they were right.

But they treated him well; usually they called him Buggy with big smiles and a friendly clap on his wide shoulders. “Gonna go after the big ones tonight, Buggy?” they would ask. And he would nod sagely and get back to his work. Mr. Flushing, his foreman, didn’t like when he talked to the other workers. And he was okay with that, too.

The only one at the plant who called him by his real name was Pamela, the dispatcher. She worked behind a small desk outside of Mr. Flushing’s office and would always greet him with a faint smile and sad green eyes. Buggy liked Pamela. He liked her freckles and her red hair, which she always pulled back in a French braid.

“Ow!”

The hook sank into the ball of his thumb as he was tying it on, drawing a bead of blood. He pushed the small wound into his mouth and sucked at it, careful to keep the half-finished barrel knot from unfurling.

“Damn you, Buggy Wheeler. Stay on task!” he muttered, scolding himself the way Mr. Flushing did when his work slowed.

He finished the knot and reached into an old coffee can by his feet. Slimy, muscular things pulled away from his groping fingers. He grabbed one of the big night-crawlers and inspected it in the harsh lantern light.

“That’s a good ’un,” he said softly, and began to thread the worm over the hook. His brow was furrowed under the stained and creased ball cap that was pulled over a corkscrewed mop of black hair.

It wasn’t just the bait, he knew. The trick was to present it to the fish in a way that made them bite. If it looked wrong, the big fish wouldn’t touch it. Little fish were dumber and would strike at anything that smelled good. Big fish got big by being smart.

Pamela had asked him about that at the birthday party they threw him at the plant.

Buggy knew it was her idea; the cake in the break room said “Happy Birthday Billy” on it in festive blue piping. Billy, not Buggy. Only Pamela would do that.

After most of the cake was gone and the other workers settled down to their coffee and cigarettes, Pamela had walked over to him.

“Did you do anything special for your birthday, Billy?”

“No, Ms. Ralston,” Buggy had said. Mr. Flushing didn’t like when he called Pamela by her first name.

“So you’re just going home after shift?”

“Oh, no ma’am!” he had beamed. “It’s a clear night. I’m goin’ fishin’.”

Pamela had looked at him quizzically for a moment, as if debating. Then: “Billy, do you fish out by the old quarry?”

“Sure do!” he had said. “Best place for catfish. I get bass, too. Once I even caught a trout this big,” and he had held his fingers out wide, but gradually brought them closer together. Telling a fish tale to Pamela made him uncomfortable.

“You be careful,” she had said. “You know there’s been some bad things happening up there?”

Buggy had looked at her, not understanding. “You mean the rock that fell, Ms. Ralston?”

“No . . . well, maybe. That was a meteor, Billy. It didn’t hurt anyone because it exploded over the quarry, far from town. But there are people who go up there to try to get pieces of it for money, and some of those people are not so nice.”

“I don’t go looking for rocks,” he had said defensively. “I look for fish.”

“Yes, but a fisherman went up there last month and hasn’t come back. They think something happened to him.”

Buggy had thought about that, and as he did he realized that there were more and more nights when he was alone on the water. Night fishing was a lonely activity, but there used to be the occasional companion. These days there was no one.

“I’ll be careful, Ms. Ralston.”

“Good,” and she had smiled in a way that made him feel warm and self-conscious. “So do you have any fishing secrets I can tell my brother?”

“Yes ma’am!” He had stood up straight, his round, stubbled face cracking a wide grin that sported a smear of vanilla icing at one corner. “Use the right bait for smart fish.”

She had nodded, smiling. “I’ll tell him that,” and then she had started to turn back but stopped. “How old are you, Billy?”

Buggy hadn’t hesitated. “I’m thirty-seven today, Ms. Ralston!”

Her smile had faded at that, and Buggy thought he saw a tear blossom under one eye, but she had turned quickly and soon he wasn’t sure if he had seen it at all.

The hook was fully baited and now it hung from the end of the line, the night-crawler contracting and twisting on the barbed hook.

“That should do ’er,” he said, inspecting his work. Enough of the worm was left to dangle freely so it looked natural.

Buggy rose from the chair with a grunt. He walked to the water’s edge, trying to remember where he had made his last cast. Even smart fish could be fooled twice . . . if they were hungry enough.

“Come and get it!”

He cast out, hearing the silky hiss of his line parting quickly from the spool, and heard the distant plop where the worm entered the water. He put his rod in the Y-shaped branch he had stuck in the dirt by the lake’s edge and sat down to wait.

Buggy reached over and grabbed his soda from the cup-holder drilled into the armrest of the chair. He drained the can in three large gulps and belched softly, keeping his gaze on the tip of his rod and on the line that draped from it like a loose hammock.

Crickets and other night creatures serenaded him from their hidden places in the surrounding trees and underbrush. On other nights an occasional deer would wander close, but tonight there was nothing but the sound of insects and small rodents scurrying over leaves and branches in the dark.

Pamela was worried about him. He was sure of that, and it made him feel good because it was nice to have someone — especially someone like Pamela — care enough to worry.

Buggy wanted to tell her that he cared about her, too. He knew he never would. He remembered Mr. Flushing, his face pinched and frowning from under a salt-and-pepper crew-cut, staring pointedly at him whenever Buggy greeted her. He was intimidated by the foreman and didn’t like to anger him, but that wasn’t the real reason he kept his distance.

“I don’t got the right bait for that smart fish,” he mumbled sadly, and did his best to keep his attention on the water and away from Pamela Ralston.

From somewhere in the dense trees behind him, an owl hooted into the night.

Buggy was munching on potato chips, his fingers greasy with cooking oil, when the first few loops of line fed through the top ferrule of his rod. After a few feet had been pulled out, it stopped.

He froze, waiting.

Suddenly a stream of line sped from his reel, and he dropped the bag of chips and ran to grab his rod from its makeshift stand. Buggy yanked upward, setting the hook. Instantly he knew from the feel that he had connected with another big one; the tip of his rod was bent downward in an impressive arc.

“Gotcha again, smart fish!” he shouted excitedly.

There was no dive for the bottom this time, but the fish fought strangely. It didn’t swim from side to side, but felt instead like it was moving directly away from him. It would stop long enough for Buggy to haul it in a few yards then dart again straight towards the center of the lake when it found more energy.

“What’cha up to?” Buggy wondered. He almost had it to shore; the fight lasted less than a minute. He knew this was a heavy fish; it should have put up more of a struggle. And he still couldn’t make anything out under the inky water.

Something large finally broke the surface, and Buggy dragged it onto the sand. He gasped when it finally came into view.

It was the biggest fish he’d ever caught, but that wasn’t all.

It had large scales like a carp, but it was pink and speckled like a rainbow trout. Long barbels hung from its jaw like a catfish, and its dorsal fin had the saw-like spines of a bass. It was like no fish he’d ever seen, and exactly like every fish he’d ever seen. The tail end was still in the water, hidden.

Buggy looked down at it, fascinated and a little frightened.

It gaped in the air and flopped lazily over, the large pectoral fins moving sluggishly. It began to slide back into the lake.

He moved without thinking, reaching down and grabbing the fish under the gill cover. The hook and worm came out of the wide mouth as he hefted it out of the water. The tail end came up with it, or rather something that wasn’t a tail at all. The large body tapered to a pale yellow rope-like tether about as thick as two of his fingers. It snaked down from where the tail should have been and fed back into the lake.

And then the fish did something unexpected.

The pink and speckled skin suddenly peeled back to reveal several long, multi-jointed fingers folded up underneath. Before he could react, they swung out from around the body like an overextended umbrella and clapped shut over his hand and forearm. The ends were tipped with curved hooks that sank under his skin. The pain was immediate and searing.

Buggy howled, shaking his big arm and crying out in agony as the hooks tugged deeper into his muscle tissue. It hugged him tightly below the elbow like a living gauntlet.

Lemme go!

There was a sound like a whip-crack as the tether was pulled tight from under the water. Buggy’s ensnared arm was yanked painfully backwards, nearly dislocating his shoulder. He dropped his rod and spun on his heels as he was dragged toward the lake’s edge.

Screaming, he instinctively grabbed the tether with his free hand. It felt leathery and pliable, but underneath there was something stronger, and Buggy was reminded of the rubber-coated steel cable he used to stow heavy machinery. The fish-thing tightened around his forearm, cutting off the circulation and making his trapped fingers balloon with the hydrostatic pressure.

He turned away from the water, his arm still extended comically backwards, and trudged forward. He was crying loudly now, tears of terror and pain rolling down his jowls.

“Got me hooked,” he whined. “It got me . . . ”

A vicious yank hurled him around again and he lost his balance, falling face-first to the dirt. Sharp pebbles and sticks poked at his chest and stomach as he was dragged into the lake. Water surged over his head, pushing up his nostrils and into his open mouth. His cap came off and floated away in the dark.

Buggy flailed with his free hand and caught a partially submerged boulder, slimy with algae. The force pulling at his other arm threatened to tear it from its socket.

And then the pressure relented. He could feel it slacken, and some of the pain in his trapped arm eased. He lay there for a few seconds, his head just above the surface and both arms stretched in opposite directions, crying in soft pants and wheezes.

“Help!” he screamed. The sound of his voice echoed around the quarry.

He was scared, but more than that was the sense of confusion. At work there was always someone to explain things. Now he had no one, and the only thing he truly understood was that he was in a fight for his life.

Buggy’s panicked thoughts drifted to Pamela, with her red hair and sad eyes. He was sorry he never thanked her for her kindness, but even more, he was sorry that he didn’t listen when she told him to be careful.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Ralston,” he blubbered weakly. Snot and water ran from his nose and over his mouth. “Looks like big, dumb Buggy Wheeler’s just a fish on a line.”

A fleeting thought sparked in Buggy’s head. It rolled forward, gaining momentum and substance like an avalanche, and slowly developed into something he was unaccustomed to having on his own: an idea.

Wincing at the pain in his arm, he turned his head toward the center of the lake. He could see the thick rope-thing just under the surface, running out into the darkness.

“It thinks I’m pulling back hard,” Buggy said. “It’s giving me slack, but if it pulls again I ain’t gonna be able to hold on and it’ll get me in deeper water. Then I’ll be a goner for sure.”

So what do I do when a fish pulls? I let ‘im run until he tires . . . I let ‘im run . . .

“I run!”

Buggy got to his feet and ran, his work boots slogging through the shallows and then plowing deep trenches in the shore mud. He was out of the water with the fleshy rope and its fish-thing still attached to his arm. He could feel resistance but at least it wasn’t pulling . . . yet.

He was soaked. Blood ran from where the thing had latched onto his arm and pattered in large drops to the ground.

“I ain’t no smart fish!” he screamed, the anger at himself suddenly blooming out from under his fear. The strange thing at the end of his line was just bait. It wasn’t even the right bait. It wasn’t even good bait. It was unnatural; it was wrong. But he got himself hooked anyway, because —

“Because I was too hungry,” he said hoarsely.

He ran past the lantern and his chair, plodding against the constant strength-sapping force and hot agony in his hooked arm. Beyond his small camp, he could see only vague images of his surroundings in the dark.

“There ain’t no place to run,” he whimpered. “I got nowhere to go.” He started to cry again.

The weeds . . .

The thought came as he was imagining his captor from deep in the lake, a large fishing rod the size of a radio tower grasped in two monstrous arms, waiting for him to run and tire against the drag. It was a silly thought, a stupid one.

“What weeds?! I’m not in the water! There ain’t no — ”

And then, appearing out of the dark as he ran, Buggy saw the first tree. It was young, just bigger than a sapling. Its trunk was barely four inches across and looked ghostly pale in the moonlight.

Run for the weeds!

The next savage tug nearly felled him a second time. He stumbled and just managed to keep his footing, but the thing was pulling again.

“I need more line,” he said. “I gotta run it out.”

He put his head down and charged, throwing his mass against the opposite pull. He could feel the hooks of the thing tear deeper into his arm.

The tree was twenty feet away and getting closer. His legs started to burn from the effort and his pace slowed. It felt like he was hauling a compact car out of the lake. His heart whacked heavily in his chest. Ten more feet. Now five. Two . . .

Buggy ran past the tree and around it. He watched as the tether first touched the smooth bark, then bent sharply as it began its first loop. He ran around the trunk like it was a Maypole, counting the completed circuits. At four he ran out of line; his arm with the mock-fish was up against the slender trunk. He held it there, trying to keep from buckling on his wobbly legs.

The yellow tether pulled tighter.

It was strung between the coils around the tree and a point somewhere in the lake. There was a small sag to it, but it was getting less pronounced. He could hear the tension in the line; it twanged and pinged like an overworked guitar string.

Buggy heard a rustling sound above him. He looked up and saw the top of the tree bending towards of the lake, the leaves and branches swaying. It continued to lean farther, and then there was a deeper noise and a slight movement under his feet. His ragged breath stopped in his lungs.

A thick, earthy rending and snapping came from the base of the tree.

It’s tearin’ up the roots! It’s gonna pull —

One side of the tree’s base erupted, torn roots poking out from the clods of dirt like broken bones. The tree suddenly made a low bow like a butler making a formal exit. Some of the lower branches brushed the ground.

Buggy fumbled in his pocket with is free hand and felt only soggy denim. Then he remembered: it was in his other pocket, the one on the side of his trapped arm.

He had to lift his leg a bit and strain around his body to reach. He pulled the pocket inside-out in his panic, but he felt the tang of a metal clip against his fingers and he savagely pulled at it, tearing his pants.

It was awkward with his non-dominant hand, but after one failed attempt he managed to open the folding knife with a flick of his thumb. He put the sharp edge against the tether and began to cut in frantic swipes, going easily through the soft outer covering. A dark, syrupy liquid spurted out and splashed over his fingers. It burned like scalding water, and he heard a hiss and saw bubbles where it covered the blade.

Then Buggy felt the rasp as he was sawing against something hard and unyielding.

The whole tree was coming out faster; most of its anchoring roots were torn free. He knew if the tree went into the lake he’d go with it, screaming as he was pulled along until the water silenced him forever.

Sweat beaded on Buggy’s forehead and ran into his eyes. His arm continued to move with the blade, the muscles bulging in his shoulder with the effort.

“C’mon! Cut, cut, cut!”

He pushed down with all his remaining strength and felt the knife bite into something with a soft crunch. Then there was a sound like a rifle shot as the tether tore free, whipsawing out to the lake like a rubber-band. Buggy watched as the free end pulled away from him, pumping out the caustic liquid in dark spurts before it finally disappeared.

The coils around the uprooted tree unwound themselves and fell to the dirt. He lifted his arm and saw the fish-thing that got him hooked.

It looked deflated; the long, bony fingers were shriveled and soft. He pulled at the thing with his free hand and it tore away like wet cardboard. Soon only the hooks remained, sticking in jagged holes that ringed his arm. He tweezed them out, his face twisted in disgust. A sleeve of blood covered him from his elbow down, and he took his shirt off to wrap the wounds.

Out on the water something surfaced. Buggy heard a giant splash, and a few seconds later he saw large waves crashing over the shore. In the moonlight he thought he could make out something large over the deepest part of the lake.

He got ready to run, then stopped and stared at the large glistening object. It was moving but not getting any closer. A thrill of triumph suddenly raced through him.

“You can’t leave the water!” he screamed. “That’s why you need bait!”

Buggy laughed and pumped his fists in the air. His wounded arm throbbed but he hardly noticed.

“Well, I got your lousy bait!” he screamed. “Got your hook, too! Buggy Wheeler’s one smart fish!”

The thing on the water roared. The inhuman cry echoed in a continuous deep growl, reverberating over the lake and pushing against his eardrums. Buggy had never heard anything like it, but he recognized anger and frustration . . . and pain.

It continued to thrash for a few seconds and went still. From within the lumpy, black mass in the distance Buggy thought he could see four large eyes staring at him. Then the thing sank like a dropped rock, sending up a geyser of water and new waves in all directions.

Buggy was alone again, and very thankful for it.

He finished collecting his gear and strapped it to the rack of his bike. Buggy was careful to watch for any movement in the water when he plucked his discarded rod out of the muddy shore. The end was broken off; he’d probably stepped on it during his struggles. Buggy didn’t care. He didn’t think he’d be fishing for a while.

He wheeled his bike away, stopping for a moment to turn and stare at the dark water. The waves tossed up from the thing continued to stipple the surface.

“I ain’t no dumb fish,” he said, and meant it. He pictured Mr. Flushing, in a rare display of appreciation, acknowledging a job well done.

Good job, Buggy.

“My name’s Billy,” he said defiantly. He kicked one leg over his bike and he started to pedal away, the knobby rear tire kicking up plumes of dust as he made his way home.

All around the abandoned quarry, the crickets began to sing out again. The waves gradually petered out, restoring the surface to a smooth, mirror-like calm. Overhead, the moon stared down with its glowing half-eye.

Deep in the lake, at the severed end of a long appendage, a new bait began to grow.

LAWRENCE ARON is a professional nerd to some and a genuine renaissance man to others, though he’s fairly certain the “renaissance” thing was a joke started by his friends. He spends his days in the warm glow of computer monitors writing awesome software. He definitely needs to get out more. After graduating from the University of Arizona (go Cats!) he spent the next twenty years in Tucson, honing his skills as a software engineer and working on his sunburn. He’s since moved to Western Pennsylvania where — older, fatter, balder and none the wiser — he lives with his wife and daughter, happy in the realization that while striving for greatness is worthwhile, falling short now and then is pretty cool, too.

Karaoke for the Deaf

Gregory J. Wolos

Section 1.0: Cremation and Waste Ethics
(1.1) In no way can human remains be treated as waste.
(1.2) Even so . . . the environmental impact of cremation must be minimized.
 — The International Cremation Foundation Guide to Cremation Practice, p. 3

Gil, my neighbors’ German Shepherd, is a retired cadaver dog. The Nelsons got him through some connection with the state police. Gil is in his prime — he’s got thick muscles rippling under his glossy black and tan coat. I’m not privy to the career arc of cadaver dogs, so I don’t know if he was entitled to an early retirement or if he screwed up and got fired. When Gil frolics with the Nelson children on their front lawn, his jaws gape with barking I don’t hear — I’ve been deaf since the explosion at the crematorium two years ago. I’m sure you heard about it — the story hung in the national news for months. On mornings like this one when the two older Nelson children are at school, Gil lies on the family’s gated front porch, and his amber eyes melt over me.

Before the explosion that deafened and neutered me, I loaded deceased loved ones into a cremator and poured the ashes into urns. I also took care of the grounds. According to investigators, the ninety-three-year-old former physicist I’d slid into the cremator had packed his intestinal tract with plastic explosives and detonating chemicals. 2100 degrees Fahrenheit set them off. The force of the explosion blew me twenty feet through a window onto the lawn I’d mowed that morning. I woke from a month’s coma to find myself seared as smooth as a Ken doll between my knees and waist. A permanent forest fire now roars in my ears. My survival was hailed “a miracle.” The crematorium’s two other employees were trapped in the front office and burned to death.

The cremator operator is not legally responsible for checking the guts of ninety-three year olds for incendiaries, so I’m set for life, thanks to my settlement with the corporation that owns the crematorium. The corporation, in turn, lost their own suit against the hospital that released the physicist’s body without an autopsy. The ruling determined that there’s nothing suspicious about someone that old dropping dead. My ex-wife, Linda, was entitled to half of my award.

While he stares at me, Gil rests his muzzle on his forepaws, the tip of his nose poking between the railings of the Nelsons’ porch. Now and then his tail lifts and falls. Linda and I had been having trouble well before the explosion. Our three-year marriage had been a mistake from the start, she said. We’d met at a party, and she thought she’d overheard me say something witty, when really it had been somebody else. For years she’d quoted the joke: “Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was intense!” and I’d taken credit for it. When she told me I’d grown morose and didn’t say funny things like I used to, I confessed that I’d never told the circus fire joke in the first place. We argued about things like whether or not to have kids, which is something couples should get straight before they marry. I didn’t see the point — if nothing else, the crematorium job I’d held since dropping out of college had taught me that all stories end with the same flammable page. Kids are no different than everyone else: potential ashes. Just add fire. Linda told me I have a “botoxed soul,” but refused to explain what she meant.

Linda is a real estate agent and coordinated with federal and local authorities to find me a home in this neighborhood. These agencies don’t know what to make of me. They don’t really think the explosion was a terrorist attack, and they don’t actually suspect that I had anything to do with the “percussive event,” but since the physicist’s motives have never been proven, I linger on their radar. The Nelsons’ house and mine are the only two homes on this cul-de-sac. The family knows I’m the guy from the crematorium explosion. They’ve received detailed information about me, and I have a written report about them: husband Ed, wife Nina, and the kids, whose names I’ve forgotten. I learned all about Gil from the report. The Nelsons have had him for a year. Everything has to be written down for me — I can’t read lips, and I don’t have the patience to learn signing.

I’m not about to ask anyone, but I wonder if Gil, before his retirement, sniffed over the scorched rubble of my crematorium. Did he help collect the bits of the physicist? Would he have confused the bodies lined up for incineration with those of the freshly killed — Nick the manager and Becca his secretary? Would he have caught wind of their not-so-secret affair? Maybe Gil pawed at the ashes of my genitals and filed away my scent in his memory.

I’ve read about my event on the internet. Blowing up a crematorium didn’t make sense to anyone. The terrorism talk flared up, then burned itself out. The forensic experts concluded that the physicist had swallowed the explosives the day before his death and that his clogged system triggered his heart attack. Circumstantial evidence suggests that he’d intended to self-detonate the following evening at a testimonial banquet given in his honor by the tech firm he’d been retired from for twenty-five years. The physicist’s seventy-year-old daughter said her father had been “looking forward to the event for months.”

“The reception was to have been attended by some of the nation’s most pre-eminent thinkers,” the director of the tech company said. “The loss would have been incalculable. And tragic.”

I’m no scientist, but on sleepless nights I pretend that I’d been invited to that testimonial. There’d be a phone call canceling the event — the guest of honor just passed away —  heart attackperhaps the impact of such excitement on an old man’s system should have been considered. Then another phone call — an explosion! — and sobering gossip among my fellow invitees regarding the physicist’s probable intentions. I would understand what it felt like to have a target lifted from my back that I never knew existed. I’d ponder the vicissitudes of fate and vow to take nothing in life for granted. When I get tired of pretending, I fondle the warm piss-bag strapped to my thigh and doze off to the purr of flames.

At first I protested splitting my settlement fifty-fifty with Linda. She threatened, only half-seriously, I think, to turn me in to the FBI. “I’ll tell them you always had suicidal thoughts,” she said. “I’ll tell them about your obsession with the ‘fire at the circus.’” She forgot the joke wasn’t mine.

The Nelsons know I’m deaf, but the implanted catheter tube that drains into my piss-bag is information I keep to myself. Ed, Nina, and the two older children wave at me aggressively when they see me. They open their mouths so wide they must be shouting. My voice punches through my sternum when I answer “Hello.” When the older boy and girl romp with the toddler, they mouth two syllables, so I think of him as “Eep-eep.” Nina Nelson’s bright red lips form the same syllables when she leaves the baby on the porch with Gil. Eep-eep spreads himself atop the lounging dog, his chin on Gil’s head. While I rock in my chair and try to read the paper, their gazes tighten around me like boa constrictors.

This spring morning the sky is a sharp blue. Nina Nelson exits her front door with Eep-eep on her hip. She’s holding a clipboard. When Gil rises to greet her, she says something to him, and he sits, tongue lolling. She steps off her porch, secures the gate, and crosses the grass between our houses. She’s studying her clipboard as if it’s a hand mirror. I don’t get many visitors: a weekly nurse to check my equipment; grocery deliveries; a lawn service.

Smiling, Nina Nelson mounts my porch steps. She has the same china-dish complexion and blue eyes as the baby she jostles. She hands me the clipboard, and mother and child look down at me like moon astronauts watching earthrise. The message is printed in italics:

HELLO NEIGHBOR!

We hope you’ve been getting on well. We speak often to Linda, and we’ve tried to give you time and space to adjust to your new home. We’d like to have you over for dinner soon. Maybe a backyard barbecue in the summer.

But today the Nelson family would like to ask you for a big, big favor. We’re supposed to leave in two days for Disney World — it’s the children’s April break, and they’ve never been. But last night our kennel called and informed us that they’re infested with fleas, and all pet-boarding reservations have been canceled.

I glance over at Gil, who’s panting at us from the Nelsons’ porch. When he sees me look at him, he lifts his head. Nina Nelson, guessing how far I’ve read, points at the dog, grins, and nods. I pick up where I left off:

We’re keeping our fingers crossed that you could care for Gil during our week at Disney. All the other kennels are full, and you’re our last hope. Our other friends are on vacation, too, or are allergic to dogs.

I peek up: Nina Nelson’s eyes are moist.

Gil will be easy to care for. He’s very obedient. We’ve measured out food for his breakfast and dinner. He only needs walks around the block in the morning, afternoon, and evening. He could stay in our house or in yours — we promise, he hasn’t had an accident since we’ve owned him! Attached is a list of phone numbers: ours, the vet’s, and the Disney hotel’s. Also a feeding schedule.

So what do you think?

I sneak another look at Gil, then hand the clipboard back to Nina Nelson. My thumb lifts from my fist and my head bobs: my body has agreed to the proposition before I’ve had time to think it over. My neighbor’s red lips stretch into a smile of relief.

“You need to enjoy vacations while you can,” I feel myself say, wondering how much my injuries have changed my voice. Nina Nelson nods gravely and pokes the clipboard toward Gil: she’s going to introduce us to one other. She starts to hand me Eep-eep before pulling him back and bounding with him from my porch back to her own to fetch the dog. The baby’s eyes rise and fall with his mother’s steps, but don’t release me.

Gil is staying at my house. It’s half the size of the Nelsons’. Both homes were built within the last decade. All of my interior surfaces — walls, floors, counters — are off-white. Everything seems laminated. Gil watches me connect a fresh piss-bag before I pull on my pajamas.

“Easier than a walk around the block,” I tell him. Gil’s also neutered, like all cadaver dogs. It helps them stay focused on dead bodies instead of females in heat. The first night of his visit, Gil abandoned his bed and jumped up on mine. When my mattress heaved, I kept my eyes closed as the big dog settled his bulk against the backs of my thighs. I hadn’t thought of marriage’s casual contact for a while.

The exploding physicist didn’t leave a suicide note. Nothing in his notebooks, nothing on his computer or in cyberspace. If a note had been in his pocket, the forensics experts who sifted the charred splatter of his entrails would have reassembled it. On the internet I find foggy pictures of the physicist as a young man. He holds a pipe and poses with famous scientists whose names are almost familiar. The same decade-old driver’s license photo of me turns up again and again. There are Facebook selfies of my crematorium boss and his secretary. When I scroll through these pictures, I’m reminded of photographs of my parents from their wedding album: slim and youthful, they blazed with promise. Both died gently, Mom in a hospice bed, Dad a year later, stretched out on his living room carpet where I found him, white and cold as marble.

Tonight I dream of the Nelsons at Disney World. Though I’ve never been there, it’s as easy to imagine as heaven: the family poses for pictures with Goofy and Mickey and Donald; they spin in tea cups and gawk at Cinderella’s castle; they float in jungle lagoons and point at mechanized elephants and crocodiles; they crow at the escapades of Caribbean pirates. In fact, Nina Nelson texts often. “We’re having fun!” she reports. “The weather is great! How’s Gil?” I’ve replied, “Great. Nice. He’s fine.” My dream follows the Nelsons to “It’s a Small World.” The exhibit’s theme song plays in an endless loop that out-roars the fire in my head and reminds me of Beethoven’s last words: “I shall hear in heaven.” The Nelsons and their fellow vacationers ride past frozen-faced animatronic children outfitted in international costumes. There’s an explosion: all heads, human and animated, jerk up. The sky falls in burning chunks. The hall fills with smoke. Fake children topple from their pedestals. A burst of flame illuminates the shrieking face of Nina Nelson. Limp Eep-eep dangles from her arms. Everything shudders as the walls of “It’s a Small World” implode. Then I’m outside, in the dark, watching from above. A cloud of glowing smoke blooms from the carnage and takes the shape of a gigantic, eyeless mouse head.

I wake to find Gil looming over me, his forepaws planted on my chest, compressing my diaphragm. “Gil — ” I grunt, and pat my piss-bag — it’s unpunctured. The dog sticks his cold nose in my ear, and I smell his fishy breath. Maybe he scented the Nelsons in my dream and wants to dig them out from under the plastic corpses of foreign children. Unless he’s after something deeper. My smartphone flashes on my night table, and I push Gil off — he’s as heavy as a boulder. There’s a fresh message from Nina Nelson: “Mickey-shaped pancakes for breakfast!” Sunlight streams through my bedroom window. Nine o’clock already? We’re an hour late for Gil’s walk.

This morning, Gil is uninterested in our usual route and strains at his leash toward every side street. He looks back at me with eager eyes, and I imagine his voice:

“Burr-nee — ” he begs. Bernie is the nickname my ex-wife gave me because of my job. I’m Ethan to the nurse who checks me for infections. She met Gil yesterday. “Nice doggy,” she wrote on the dry erase board I use for messages. She showed the note to Gil and bared her teeth in a laugh. The woman looks to be about as old as my mother was when I was in grade school — about the age I am now. She’s my second nurse. The first had long legs and wore a short skirt. She knew I was some kind of celebrity. She wrote me a note after checking my catheter: “Your wound is like what some of the boys back from Iraq have. But more exotic.” Her printing was childish and barely legible. “Exotic” might have been “erotic.” I emailed her supervisor and requested a different nurse “for personal reasons.”

My father was shot through the hand in Korea. He couldn’t make a fist after, but his clawed fingers were perfect for throwing a knuckleball. One flew over my glove once and smashed my nose. Is it south that Gil wants to go? All the way to Florida in search of the Nelsons?

“They’re fine,” I tell the dog. “I got a text message.” But he’s so insistent that I give in and follow his lead.

My next message from Nina Nelson is “Thunderstorms,” followed by a sad face made of a colon and parenthesis. Here, the sky is a spring blue so crisp it hurts to look at. Since I stopped resisting, Gil has settled into an easy trot.

“Florida is a long way off,” I say, and he flicks me a glance. We’re on a quiet suburban road. Only a few cars pass, but we encounter other pedestrians, some also with dogs. A round woman with an enthusiastic poodle makes a face both apologetic and accusatory and hoists her pet to her chest. At the next corner we meet an old man, coincidentally led by a German Shepherd. The old man’s dog is heavier and less handsome then Gil. We let our dogs touch noses. The guy twitches fingers at me as if he knows I’m deaf, and his hand reminds me of my father’s. The night Dad died alone in his house, he called me at two AM.

“I’m all backed up,” Dad whispered, as if he was sharing a secret. “I need Ex-lax.”

He wanted me to go out and buy him a laxative. No, he hadn’t called a doctor. Unless the woman next to me in bed was pretending to sleep, Dad’s call didn’t wake her — this was a few years before Linda.

“Everything’s closed,” I said.

“I’m going to blow up,” Dad whined.

I told him I’d be there by noon the next day.

Gil and I have walked a long way. Front lawns are greening. Yellow forsythia brighten some yards, and there are beds of daffodils in others. A few houses are decorated for Easter: cutouts of colored eggs are taped in windows and plastic ones hang from trees; an adult-sized, inflatable Easter Bunny lurks under the flaming blossoms of a crabapple tree. Soon I’ll need to replace my piss-bag. I always carry a spare. The road we’ve been on comes to an end at a park, and Gil pulls me onto the gravel path leading into it. Around us are monuments. A cemetery? It’s drawn my cadaver dog like a magnet. But I don’t see any headstones, and the monuments are actually plywood silhouettes of dogs about the size and shape of Gil. Maybe this is a pet cemetery. Gil pauses at a nearby cut-out dog, lifts his leg, and pisses on it. It looks like he’s marking his own shadow. As we move on, I remember what these dog silhouettes are for: they’re spread around the park to keep flocks of geese from shitting all over the green space. The crematorium manager found “Decoy Dogs” like these in a catalogue once and asked if we needed them for our grounds, but I told him geese were the least of our problems.

The park’s grassy fields end at a forested hill. Steel towers carry high-tension wires up and over its crest between pines and budding oaks. The path Gil and I follow connects to a grassy swath beneath the rising progression of towers. The trees would provide enough cover for me to switch in a new piss-bag. It occurs to me that Gil has honed in on the scent of something dead. Maybe behind the next tree, the next bench, the next dog silhouette, we’ll run into something horrible. Maybe a crow dropped whatever was left of my prick way out here. “Please, Gil,” I pray as we hurry forward, “don’t find a baby.”

If a cadaver dog had led forensic experts to the few ashes I left at the site of the explosion, might my little pile have been mistaken for more of the physicist’s remains? Maybe the experts would have found bits of a shopping list I’d had in my pocket and guessed it was the old man’s suicide note: “Bread . . . butter . . . bacon . . . beer.” Maybe they’re struggling even now to break the code.

Abruptly, Gil stops and sits, his nose in the air: he’s looking up at something. Hovering far overhead is an orange hot air balloon with a small black gondola. The balloon drifts through the cloudless sky toward the forested slope, and Gil lifts his rump and follows. The balloon seems to be descending, but perspective is difficult. I don’t know if it’s a full-sized balloon. The gondola looks empty.

After my nose stopped bleeding from Dad’s knuckleball, he washed me up and drove us to the Dairy Queen. We licked vanilla cones in the front seat of our station wagon and listened to a baseball game on the radio. I couldn’t taste the cone and resisted an urge to plunge my throbbing nose into it. We could see the car dealership next to the DQ through the windshield. Tethered to a new pickup truck was a miniature hot-air balloon, orange, with “BEST DEALS” printed across it. The balloon floated maybe a hundred feet over the dealership. It shifted in the breeze and looked like a fishing-line bobber on the surface of a lake. I’d never been fishing with Dad. He said there were no good places nearby. Through teary eyes I watched my father watching the balloon: he had tears in his eyes, too. God, he loved me.

My phone hums in my pocket — a message from Nina Nelson, no doubt. Maybe the storms have moved through Orlando, and the family has joined the others strolling down Disney World’s Main Street. I envision the crowd as a battalion of black cut-outs of moms and dads and children —  human versions of the dogs Gil and I have passed through. But to my surprise the marching shadow families cast colorful reflections in the puddles I see them stepping over.

The phone stops buzzing. Gil sits again, and I almost stumble over him because I’m watching the orange balloon angle toward the wires and towers — it will miss them, at least on our side of the hill.

Sing along with the bouncing ball! That’s what jumps into my head when I see the balloon so close to the wires — from musical cartoons older than my parents I watched on Saturday mornings at sunrise. A ball hopped along the words to a song played by goofy animals, and I remember joining in, though I’m not sure I was old enough to read. The music led me. But now I wouldn’t hear the melody. It’s tough to imagine karaoke for the deaf.

The balloon is gone. I look down at Gil, and he’s squeezed his eyes shut. His ears lie back, and his jaws sip at the empty sky. Burr-nee, he howls — the sound buzzes through his leash into my palm like audio-Braille: Burr-nee!

If the balloon had fallen into the towers and wires on the other side of the hill, wouldn’t there have been a flash of light? At least some smoke rising over the crest? Gil spins me around with a lunge, and I almost lose my grip on his leash. He’s taking me home. We race over the gravel path and through the pack of shadow dogs. No chance to change my full piss-bag or answer my phone.

“Gil — ” I pant. Burr-nee, hums in my hand, then up through my wrist and arm to my shoulder. Whatever amount the Nelsons demand for this dog, I’ll pay. If my crematorium money can’t buy him for me, what good is it?

GREGORY WOLOS‘s short fiction has appeared or is forthcoming in A-Minor Magazine, JMWW, Yemassee, Post Road, The Los Angeles Review, PANK, The Baltimore Review, Mad Hatters’ Review, A cappella Zoo, Superstition Review, Jersey Devil Press (“What’s Yours Is Yours” a few years ago), and many other journals and anthologies, both online and print. His stories have earned two Pushcart Prize nominations and have won both the 2011 New South Writing Contest and the 2011 Gulf Stream Award for fiction. Two recent collections were named as finalists for the 2010 and 2012 Flannery O’Connor Short Fiction Award. He lives and writes on the northern bank of the Mohawk River in upstate New York. For more information regarding publications and commendations visit: gregorywolos.com.

Cold Spell

Don Katnik

HAMPDEN TOWN CRIER – FEBRUARY 2, 2014

HUSBAND AND INFANT MISSING – Laura Fennel, recently moved to Hampden, reported yesterday that her husband Aaron and their five-year-old daughter Ellie have been missing since Friday. Jacob Williams, the Fennel’s neighbor and a long-time Hampden resident, saw a plumber’s truck at the Fennel house earlier but nothing else unusual. Police are investigating.

Hoping for a miracle, Aaron glanced through the frosted kitchen window at the thermometer outside — twenty-six below zero. On the television, the weatherman said, “It’s b-r-r-risk out there, Mainers! Temps near minus thirty. That’s a record! It hasn’t been this cold on January 31st since 1870 when it dropped below minus thirty!”

The anchorwoman said, “That’s cold, Pat.”

“Well, Jen, that cold spell in 1870 only lasted three days, but our Weather-Tracker Radar isn’t predicting any relief that soon this time. So bundle up and think warm thoughts, folks!”

“And let your faucets tinkle a little,” advised Jen, “or they might freeze up!”

“Bite me,” Aaron said as he used Laura’s hairdryer to blow hot air under the kitchen sink. The faucet was wide open but nothing was coming out. Twenty minutes later the ancient gooseneck convulsed and coughed out a blast of air then spat out chunks of ice and water. After a few more spasms the flow strengthened to a steady stream. Aaron closed the tap handle. Once the water stopped drumming in the porcelain basin he heard it splattering beneath the floorboards. He leapt up and raced for the cellar. Ellie started to cry. “Back in a minute!” Aaron called as he raced by. The infant wailed.

The newlywed Fennels had been charmed by the eccentric cellar door in their bedroom closet. Sometime during the Cape’s two-hundred-year history, “Hobomok” had been scrawled over the closet door frame. Now Aaron fumbled through Laura’s clothes and rushed down steep wooden stairs. He stopped short when the door slammed behind him, but he had greater concerns than a cranky door. The sound of gushing water was louder down here. Ducking under low joists, he pushed through spider webs to a big, red valve on the main water line. It squealed in protest, but grudgingly closed. In the sudden silence, Aaron heard Ellie screaming. He started back upstairs but paused on the steps again. This side of the door was gouged with deep furrows like claw marks. Had Hobomok been a dog? Christ, they’d kept it down in the cellar? Ellie wailed again and Aaron forgot about the dog.

Aaron and Ellie waited in the living room for the plumber. The wide pine floorboards were faded except for a newer middle section. The walls were thick with coats of off-white paint — lead-filled, no doubt. Aaron’s initial enthusiasm for their quirky fixer-upper had faded as every simple home-improvement project had fallen into a deep, dark, expensive hole. When Ellie dozed off he swaddled her in a blanket and went outside to open the gate. Within seconds, his ears were burning and nostril hairs frozen. The houses along the silent street hunkered in stoic hibernation; the smoke spiraling from their chimneys the only signs of life.

“Ayuh,” Avery Cavendish said, “I’ve had fawty calls this mawnin’. Git a cold spell like this,” the plumber said, “an’ pipes freeze up quick.”

“We just moved from Miami a few months ago. This is our first winter in Maine.”

“I figgered you was from away. Where’s ya cellar?” Aaron led him downstairs where the bright beam of his flashlight reflected off cobwebs, corroded pipes, and cloth-covered wiring. “Gory, she’s an old one!”

“Built in 1820.”

“You git the water turned off?”

Aaron showed him the red valve on the main line. Cavendish followed the pipe with his light. It ran along a joist towards the huge, old furnace where a smaller line branched off and went behind it.

“That ain’t good,” Cavendish said. The pipe ran through a hole in a thick beam that lay across the top of a rough wall of mortared fieldstones. “That pipe might get to your kitchen from here, but we sure can’t.”

“What idiot built a wall across the cellar?” Aaron asked.

Cavendish laughed. “That’s your original foundation. Rest’a the house was added on later. Houses up here ain’t built — they grow. Probably another way down to the other side.” But they searched the rest of the house and even outside without finding one.

“So how did they get the pipes under the kitchen?” Aaron asked, blowing to warm his numb fingers as they retreated back inside.

Cavendish shrugged. “Put ‘em in from above before they put the floor down. Looks like you’re gonna have to tear it up.”

There was a large, cast-iron woodstove at one end of the kitchen. That morning, Laura had suggested making love there tonight in the hot, red glow of the fire. “I’m not tearing up this floor,” Aaron said.

“Then ya got some diggin’ t’do.”

Aaron was gathering tools when the neighbors, Jacob and Lizzy Williams, appeared. They were nice but older than dirt. He wondered how their wizened bodies withstood the frigid air. “Having some trouble, Aaron?” Jacob asked.

No shit, Aaron thought. “Frozen pipe.”

“You should get that wood stove going,” Lizzy said.

Aaron glanced at the cast-iron monster. “I haven’t cleaned it out yet. It was my plan for today, but . . . ” he threw his hands up.

Jacob nodded. “The house had different ideas. That stove used to be in the living room before this part was added on. It was built on an older foundation — the servants’ quarters that burned down in 1850.”

Aaron wasn’t interested in a history lesson. “The pipe burst under the kitchen — but the only way to get at it is by either tearing up the floor or tunneling in from the cellar.”

A knock at the door interrupted them. “Mrs. Gray,” Aaron said. Her smile disappeared when she saw Jacob and Lizzy. The chill between his neighbors was colder than the arctic air outside. Ellie woke and started crying. Aaron fetched her from the living room. “Isn’t she precious!” said Mrs. Gray. “How old?”

“Five weeks,” Aaron replied. “She was born on winter solstice.”

Lizzy clucked. “Winter babies are bad luck.”

Mrs. Gray snorted. “Old wives’ tale!”

Hoping to head off a geriatric brawl, Aaron said, “Well, I’d better get to work. At least I’ll have Hobomok to keep me company down there!” he finished, explaining his theory that the cellar had once been a doggy’s den.

Mrs. Gray surprised him by hissing. “Demon!”

“Hobomok was a bad dog?” Aaron asked.

Jacob shook his head. “A spirit worshipped by the local Chippikwaks. They believe he controls the weather.”

“What’s that have to do with my cellar?” Aaron asked. No one knew. “Maybe I should pray for warmer weather!”

Mrs. Gray snorted. “I’ll be next door if you need anything.” She left them in another icy blast. Lizzy offered to take Ellie and they left Aaron to dig beneath a suddenly silent, empty house.

Aaron was examining the foundation wall behind the furnace when the hulking machine roared to life, hot and loud in the confined cellar. He yelped, then laughed at himself. He wedged a crowbar between two stones at the top of the wall just below the beam that the pipe ran though. He pulled on the bar, expecting the stones to pry out easily, but the ancient mortar resisted. When it finally gave way with a loud crack, Aaron fell and was showered with dust and sharp bits of rock. The loosened stones fell out and Aaron scrambled to avoid being hit. He cursed, got back up, and peered into the gap he’d made. Aaron’s breath plumed into the black void beyond it — no wonder the pipe had frozen. He reached through the opening, felt down behind the foundation wall, and touched solid earth. Apparently there was no cellar on that side, just a shallow crawlspace. He pried out more stones until he’d made a hole large enough to wiggle through. He wormed his way into it but saw that the ground ahead sloped up to within a foot of the joists. He would have to dig a trench to go any farther. He backed out and traded his crowbar for a shovel.

Aaron scooped dirt out, pitching it against the furnace, which it rattled against like graveyard earth on a coffin lid. He stood on the growing pile, reaching further through the gap between the stones until he could lie in the growing trench with his legs hanging out into the cellar. He pulled dirt towards him, shoved it under his body, and ejected it behind him. As he dug, Aaron considered the layout of the house. The master bedroom with the cellar steps was at the far end of the original structure. Next was the living room, which sat over the furnace. Beyond that was the dining room that apparently had been added on later. The kitchen was past that.

Despite brand new batteries, his flashlight’s beam was swallowed by the darkness. All Aaron could see were more low joists and the pipe hanging beneath them. There weren’t as many cobwebs under this section of the house, but strange detritus littered the ground. White toadstools grew in patches like miniature stands of albino trees. Rodent droppings were everywhere. His nose wrinkled at the musty, noisome odor. When something skittered down Aaron’s back, he dismissed it as loose dirt until it reversed direction. He jerked, trying to dislodge it, but succeeded only in cracking his head against a joist. While stars exploded in Aaron’s brain, feet tickled across the nape of his neck. A mouse jumped from his shoulder into the crawlspace ahead. Aaron screamed obscenities at it, voice cracking in his dry throat. He considered taking a break and returning upstairs for a drink — getting out of this dark, dank crawlspace sounded wonderful. But he had work to do. Aaron sighed and resumed digging. He was too far from the cellar now to push the loose dirt back out into it, so he began pushing it out into the crawlspace on either side. It quickly piled up, making tight space even more claustrophobic. He worked his limbs mechanically — digging and pushing dirt, crawling forward, losing track of time until he realized that he could no longer see the pipe overhead. He backed up. The loose piles of dirt blocked most of his view. He backed up further and still no pipe. How far had he come? It felt like twice the length of the house but it was hard to determine distance down here. Panic fluttered in his throat and Aaron quashed it. At the worst he’d just back out to the cellar — and screw this and the friggin’ floorboards. He wasn’t going to have the energy to make love on them anyway.

The idea of giving up and getting out bloomed bright in Aaron’s chest. His breath came easier. Then Aaron found the pipe. He could see now that his trench curved off to the side. He groaned and rolled onto his back, a scene forming in his mind — Laura staring aghast at the demolished kitchen floor, her beloved old pine boards torn apart, asking, “How could you get lost under your own house?” The real question — “what poor excuse for a man are you?” — unspoken but hanging in the air between them.

Aaron signed and began following the pipe again. Sharp pain burst in his knee. Aaron felt down his leg and found something sharp protruding from the ground. He pried it free. It was a rusty metal knife. He squinted at a crude, dirt-encrusted engraving on the handle — a pentagram. The creepy blade was now wet with his blood. He wanted to drop it but loathed the idea of the bloody dagger laying somewhere behind him — between him and freedom — so he tucked it under his belt and resumed digging.

Again he lost track of the time but this time not the pipe. Finally Aaron came to a brick wall cutting across the crawlspace. The pipe went through it. If the house had been expanded in sections, then this was probably another growth-spurt foundation marking the end of the dining room and the beginning of the kitchen. He’d have to go through or under it. Aaron’s neck screamed from craning forward. He’d left the crowbar back in the cellar. Going back for it would end this project because once out into the open air, Aaron knew he wouldn’t be able to force himself back into this tunnel. So he sighed and began digging under.

Too tired to dig deep enough, Aaron tried to squeeze through a gap too small for his beer belly and got stuck. He would have cheerfully taken an axe to Laura’s fucking floorboards now. She was so skinny, she would have squirted through this crawlspace no problem. Why was he the one who always gets stuck doing this shit? Aaron wriggled and found he could just barely move. He snaked forward an inch at a time until he popped out on the other side. To his relief, there was more room in this crawlspace and he could scrape underneath the joists. He followed the pipe and was not really surprised when, after what felt like hours later, he came to another foundation — this one made of fieldstones again.

Aaron tried to reason this out even though he knew it was unreasonable. If he was at the back end of the kitchen then he’d passed the sink and the broken pipe, which he’d lost again. There were no pipes in sight, broken or otherwise. And the kitchen foundation was supposed to be cinderblock. Aaron had seen that when he and Avery Cavendish had circled the house looking for a way under it. So where the fuck was he?

Aaron flashed his light around. The joists were rough-hewn beams instead of the smooth pine two-by-tens that had been under the dining room. This section was older. White sticks littered this crawlspace. Aaron picked one up — it was a bone. Gooseflesh erupted on Aaron’s arms even though the bone was too small to be human. The light flickered. Aaron turned, trying to avoid touching the bones, and retreated. The light went out. Aaron slapped it and got a feeble glow. He hit it again, harder, and the light flared, illuminating three carefully crafted, miniature stick people impaled on corroded, square nails protruding from a small rise in the earth floor of the crawlspace. Aaron stared at the Golgothan tableau. One figure was smaller — a child? Aaron saw that the bones surrounding him spiraled out from the crucified figures. Then the light went out again. He slapped it furiously to no avail. Aaron bolted in blind panic and immediately slammed into something hard. Stars exploded in his head and he sagged to the ground. When his head cleared, Aaron knew he was done. All he wanted now was to get out — to hell with the pipe, to hell with the floorboards, and to hell with Laura. He groped forward, feeling for the foundation. Once he found the foundation, he’d follow it around until he found his tunnel under the brick foundation. Then he’d wriggle back through it and all the way out to the cellar. As fast as possible.

First things first — find the foundation. Aaron started moving again. His hands and knees hurt from pressing down on strange, hard objects that he couldn’t see in the darkness but could picture horribly in his mind. Long minutes or hours later when he finally found the foundation, Aaron was so convinced that he never would that at first he didn’t believe it was real. He placed one hand on the solid stones, sighed with relief, and began following them.

They went on forever. Aaron lost count of the corners he’d encountered — the kitchen above had only four, like any square room, but Aaron had passed at least twice that many. It seemed impossible that he kept missing his tunnel. Real despair — not the paltry uncomfortableness he’d felt before, but black, heavy, smothering despair — was settling over him when suddenly Aaron fell into his tunnel. He gratefully wiggled through.

When he came up on the other side, a strong, bitter wind numbed Aaron’s face and he saw stars overhead. He was outside! His clothes, damp from hours of crawling through dank earth, steamed in the open air. After the impenetrable crawlspace, the moonlight was blinding. A structure loomed above him, but it didn’t look like his house. Shivering so hard he could barely stand, Aaron staggered around it until he found a door. He knocked. No one answered. He tried the door. It was unlocked. His clothes were beginning to freeze so he opened the door and stepped inside. “Hello? Is anybody here?”

Silence that was not just a lack of sound but a deeper, darker emptiness was the only response.

The room he’d entered was hot. An orange, hellish glow flickered across it from a wood stove at one end. It was large, like the one from their kitchen, but new. The floor before it was new as well — freshly hewn, thick pine boards with a large ring of darker wood set in the center. More dark lines crisscrossed it, forming another pentagram. The extent and location of the whole ghastly design reminded Aaron very much of the section of replaced floorboards in his own living room. A hand grabbed Aaron’s arm and he screamed.

“Aaron! We have been looking for you.” The man wore a heavy cloak with a hood, but Aaron recognized Jacob’s voice.

“Jacob! I’m so glad to see you. Christ, what a crazy day! I hit my head under the house and now . . . well, I’m confused. Where am I?”

Jacob regarded him for a long time. “Where do you think you are?”

Other than the glow from the wood stove, there were no lights on in the house and none to be seen outside it. “Did the power go out?” Aaron asked.

“Power?” Jacob’s voice was strong and firm, not the thin and trembling old man’s voice from that morning. “The power is always here, if you know where to find it.”

“You have a generator? I only came in because I was freezing. Thirty below? Hell, it feels more like a hundred below.”

Jacob nodded. “We are going to do something about that. Look — the others are gathering.”

Aaron followed Jacob’s pointing finger through a hard-frosted window and saw candlelight behind the house. Shapes moved inside. “I don’t feel up to a party,” he said. “My head hurts. And I should check on Ellie.”

“Lizzy will bring the child,” Jacob said. The room suddenly was crowded with people who, like Jacob, wore hooded robes. Burning candles soon lined the shelves around the room. Jacob pushed his hood back and in the flickering light Aaron saw a different man. Jacob was young! Before Aaron could digest this latest insanity the crowd began chanting. He couldn’t understand the guttural syllables, but they chilled him more than the air outside had. “What are they saying?” Aaron asked.

“They are praying to Hobomok to end the cold spell,” Jacob answered.

“Hobomok? The cellar dog?” Then Aaron remembered Mrs. Gray’s word for it — demon.

A fresh icy draft batted the candle flames as someone else entered the house. When the newcomer swept her hood back, Aaron saw that it was Lizzy. Not frail, gray, sweet Lizzy from the morning but a young, voluptuous woman who for all her beauty looked more evil than angelic. Lizzy opened her robe and brought out a squirming bundle that cried.

Ellie.

Aaron started toward her, but Jacob restrained him. Lizzy unwrapped the blanket around the baby and set her naked on the floor at the center of the pentagram.

“What the hell are you doing?” Aaron asked.

No one answered his question as they passed a goblet around the room. When it had made the rounds, Jacob nodded towards Aaron’s midsection. Bewildered Aaron felt there and his hand found the knife he’d picked up under the house only now it wasn’t corroded and dirty like it had been before but new and gleaming in the firelight. Jacob stepped behind Aaron and forced him down to his knees over Ellie and the pentagram radiating out around her. Jacob gripped Aaron’s hand holding the knife and raised it up as the chanting grew louder. “Hobomok, hear us!” he cried. “Take this blood as sacrifice and cease blowing your cold breath!”

The candle flames flared, brightening the room’s interior except over the floor where a murky shadow suddenly swirled over Ellie. The darkness congealed into a long face, its mouth gaping.

“Hobomok hears us!” Jacob cried.

The chanters exulted.

Aaron was so caught up in their insanity that he wasn’t prepared to resist when Jacob drove his arm down. The knife punctured Ellie’s tiny chest. Her eyes widened and she convulsed. She coughed out a blast of air, then chunks of dark, red phlegm and blood. After a few more spasms, the flow of blood strengthened to a hard, steady stream. The shadow-face darted down as if to gobble the infant, but it passed through Ellie and the floor. Before it disappeared, Aaron saw a huge, evil grin stretched across Hobomok’s murky face.

Lizzy scooped Ellie’s steaming body from the floor and swept towards the wood stove, followed by the chanting worshipers. Jacob said, “I am sorry, Aaron, but it had to be this way. You brought this cold upon us with your winter baby. The sacrifice had to be yours.”

Aaron was sobbing now. “How could you force me to kill my own child just to change the weather?”

“We live and die by the weather, Aaron. Folks can survive a few days of bad cold, but longer than that and it seeps through everything, freezing up wells and hardening the soil so deep we won’t be able to plant our fields until June. The crops won’t have time to grow and the people who didn’t freeze to death this winter will starve next fall. Before you came here with your winter baby, all the signs showed this was going to be a mild season.”

“I don’t understand any of this! How can you be so young?”

He frowned. “Young? What do you mean?”

“This morning you were like ninety!”

“I won’t be ninety until 1944,” Jacob said. “Is that what year you think this is?”

“It’s 2014,” Aaron told him. “Or it was until I crawled under the house and everything went crazy.”

Jacob smiled. “Fourteen years after the millennium? I’m going to live to see the turn of two centuries. Thank you, Hobomok!”

He nodded, and Aaron realized someone was still behind him. The knife he’d used to kill Ellie slashed across his throat. Bright, red blood sprayed out. Aaron heard its icy splatter as the droplets bounced off the pine floorboards.

HAMPDEN TOWN CRIER – FEBRUARY 2, 2014

UNEXPECTED THAW BRINGS RELIEF – The recent spell of bitter cold broke overnight when a fast-moving storm from the south brought milder temperatures to the region. Subzero temps froze pipes across the state, but resulted in no weather-related deaths.

HUSBAND AND INFANT MISSING – Laura Fennel, recently moved to Hampden, reported yesterday that her husband Aaron and their infant daughter Ellie have been missing since Friday. Jacob Williams, the Fennel’s neighbor and a long-time Hampden resident, saw a plumber’s truck at the Fennel house earlier but nothing else unusual. Police are investigating.

HAMPDEN TOWN CRIER – FEBRUARY 3, 2014

PLUMBER MAKES GRUESOME DISCOVERY – The body of Aaron Fennel was found frozen in the crawlspace under his house yesterday. Laura Fennel, his wife, reported him missing with their infant daughter the day before. A plumber made the discovery while repairing pipes broken during the recent cold spell. According to police, Aaron Fennel died from a throat laceration. Although the injury could have been accidental, the Fennel child is still missing and police are investigating.

HAMPDEN TOWN CRIER – FEBRUARY 5, 2014

TRAGEDY STRIKES AGAIN – In a bizarre twist to a strange story, Laura Fennel, whose husband was found frozen under their home yesterday, discovered the bones of their missing daughter in the ashes of her wood stove. Police are considering this a murder-suicide but Laura Fennel claims her husband would not have killed their infant daughter and himself. Neighbor and long-time Hampden resident Jacob Williams said that Aaron Fennel was “a nice young fella” and wondered whether there’s something to that old wives’ tale about winter babies being bad luck.

DON KATNIK is a wildlife biologist who resides in Maine with his wife Misty and three dogs Jedzia, Copper, and Noah. Besides writing he enjoys playing guitar, working on their 200-year-old Cape, and cooking. And drinking beer. Yes, he’s overweight — but who isn’t? He believes that words matter and despairs that full sentences may become a thing of the past. His writing is genre-challenged. If you want to see his published work, just Google him like everyone else does.