Happy, well, whatever.

Look, there is a bright side to this miserable day. Maybe even a few.

First, Snicker’s now comes in a handy vital-organ-shaped snack-size. So there’s that.

Second, there’s a frakkin’ corker of an issue we put out this month that’s dedicated entirely to all manner of relationships. Go read it. It’ll probably make you feel better. Or, you know, a different kind of sad.

Finally, if nothing else, today is an opportunity to dig into the mighty JDP archive for one of our all-time favorites. Check out “Julia and Raul” by Ben Nardolilli. Because even the most cynical heart among us can’t help but be warmed by the story of true love between a sharpner and her pencil.

Beyond that…well, eat a dick, Valentine’s Day.