No lava enemas here; just good scary stories.

There’s still a little time for All Hallows’ Read! (Or a lot of time, if you include All Saints’ Day Month. Which we do.)

If you haven’t already read Eirik Gumeny’s “horror/comedy epic,” “The Gnome-pocalypse Is Upon Us,” frankly, you’re just embarrassing yourself. Remedy this by reading it immediately.

There’s also our October Issue and the Halloween Issue from 2012, as well as any of the following: Stephen King’s IT, The Shining or Salem’s Lot; Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book; Ray Bradbury’s October Country or Something Wicked This Way Comes; Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House; and anything by H.P. Lovecraft or Edgar Allan Poe, obviously.