As August (from the Latin for “hot as a hellhound’s balls”) presses upon us like two Spandex hams on a bicycle seat, we are pleased to offer you a handful of refreshingly cool stories and poems in our eighty-oneth issue.

Share a glass of lemonade with the “hinky man“; observe “The Banana Festival” from a safe distance; tremble before “Tiny Gods“; and drop a curtsy on the “The Queen of the Moon.”

Read ’em quick before they melt. And don’t miss the lovely, nightmare-inducing cover art, Fire Breather.