Conversations with My Vestigial Tail, Russell Bradbury-Carlin
“In fact, I’ve been in a sexual relationship. We were together for two months.
And the fact that I had a tail was not a problem.”

Bones, Joseph Alan Hasinger
“He’d sit on our bedroom floor with the bones scattered before him like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, staring and thinking and scratching his head.”

Infested, Bob McHugh
“I speak passable Italian, so I assumed it was Sardinian, but it could have been slang.
It was at least marginally insulting.”

Me and Gatsby, Kat Lewin
“Everyone would play with me and Gatsby at first. Kickball, softball, foursquare, you name it. Gatsby was the captain of every team.”

Rodents from Beyond: Part Two, Stephen Schwegler
“‘We’ll enslave humanity and, well, make you clean up our poo mainly.
We don’t have thumbs so it’s kind of hard.'”

A Nice Jewish Golem, Ao-Hui Lin
“Let me say from the start, I am not prejudiced. I mean really, after all the troubles my people have gone through, the pogroms, the Nazis, Mel Gibson, how could I be?”

Red Hot Panda Love, Danger_Slater
“‘Ellie! Ellie! Come in here, quick! I think the pandas are about to fuck!'”